When You Choose To Worry, You Choose Not To Have Joy or Happiness

The popular phrase says, “Worry is the thief of joy.” I believe that statement is true because worry and joy cannot exist in the same moment. When we choose to worry, we choose to surrender our peace and happiness.

Many people push back on this idea by saying, “I just like to be prepared.” However, being prepared and worrying are not the same thing. Preparation is productive. Worry is not. Preparation focuses on what you can do. Worry focuses on what might happen.

Several years ago, I was relaxing in our bedroom when my wife walked in, visibly tense. I could see it on her face and feel it in the atmosphere.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Nothing,” she replied.

After twenty-five years of marriage and a career spent helping people, I knew better.

“What’s wrong?” I asked again.

Finally, she admitted, “I’m worried about the lesson I’m teaching in church.”

I was confused. “Which lesson?”

She looked at me as though I had not been listening during our evening walks.

“The Relief Society lesson I’m teaching in a few weeks.”

I thought about everything she had already done. She had been preparing for three weeks. She had recruited several women to help with different parts of the lesson. She had even found an obscure video of President Gordon B. Hinckley discussing the exact topic.

“You’re worried about that lesson?” I asked.

“Yes,” she answered.

“No,” I replied. “You have a choice. You can be unprepared and worry because things will probably go poorly, or you can prepare like you already have and let it go. You don’t get to do both.”

That conversation reminds me of a scripture found in Doctrine and Covenants 38:30:

“If ye are prepared ye shall not fear.”

I often substitute the word worry for the word fear. To me, the message is simple: prepare, then let go. Worrying after preparation only steals the joy you have earned.

The Danger of “What If?”

Worry is essentially the act of looking ahead and asking, “What if?”

What if something goes wrong?

What if I fail?

What if the worst-case scenario happens?

The problem is that most of the things we worry about never occur. We sacrifice today's happiness for tomorrow's imaginary problems.

That is why I tell many of my clients that “what if” should be treated like swear words. The more we engage in “what-iffing,” the more joy we lose.

A Lesson From the Operating Room

Before my son turned two years old, he needed surgery to repair a tear duct. The procedure required general anesthesia.

Before the surgery, the doctors presented us with a consent form listing every possible complication and risk. It was a long and intimidating document.

I signed the form, but I did not let my wife read it.

As a highly trained neonatal nurse, she understood medicine very well. Unfortunately, that also meant she would know enough to imagine every possible complication.

I knew that if she read the form, she would spend the entire procedure worrying that our son would experience every danger listed.

Instead, she trusted me to be informed for both of us.

The surgery went perfectly. The repair was successful, and our son recovered without complications.

The dangers were real, but worrying about them would not have improved the outcome. It would only have robbed us of peace during the process.

Satan Doesn't Care How He Steals Joy

The father of misery, Satan, influences people in different ways.

For some, temptation comes through obvious sinful behavior. But many good people are not especially vulnerable in those areas. They are obedient, conscientious, and generally make good decisions.

Yet many of these same individuals struggle with anxiety, worry, depression, nervousness, and anger.

In other words, they are good at obedience but not good at experiencing joy.

Satan does not particularly care how he robs people of happiness. He only cares that he succeeds.

His goal is simple: to make people as miserable as he is.

I believe Jesus understood this. That is one reason I think much of Matthew 6:25–34 is directed toward people who struggle with worry.

Throughout those verses, I mentally replace the phrase “take no thought” with “don't worry.”

The message becomes remarkably clear: Don't worry about your food. Don't worry about your clothing. Don't worry about tomorrow. Your Heavenly Father already knows what you need.

Jesus even asks a powerful question:

“Which of you by worrying can add one cubit unto his stature?”

In other words, if worrying accomplishes nothing, why do it?

Obey and Enjoy

One of my favorite lessons from Matthew 6 is this: life is meant to include both obedience and joy.

Jesus teaches us to seek first the kingdom of God. In modern language, that means obey.

Then He promises that the necessary blessings will follow.

Once you know you are honoring your covenants, keeping the commandments, and fulfilling your responsibilities, the remainder of your day should be spent learning how to experience joy.

No matter what activity you are doing, your intent should be to enjoy the gift of being alive.

A balanced life is one in which we obey and enjoy.

No Peeking

The final verse of Matthew 6 contains another powerful principle:

“Take therefore no thought for the morrow.”

Or, as I would translate it:

“Don't worry about tomorrow.”

Jesus is essentially saying, “No peeking.”

We will get there when we get there.

We will cross that bridge when we come to it.

We will deal with it if it comes to that.

This does not mean we should not set goals. It simply means we should not become consumed by distant outcomes.

Imagine climbing a mountain. If you spend the entire hike staring at the summit, the mountain will feel impossibly large and your progress painfully slow.

However, if you focus on the next few steps in front of you, avoiding rocks and snakes along the way, you eventually reach the summit without becoming discouraged.

Stay in Your Three-Foot World

The U.S. Navy SEALs have a phrase that helps them survive some of the most demanding training in the world:

Stay in the moment.

They focus only on what is directly in front of them.

If they start asking, “How much longer?” or “When will this end?” discouragement quickly follows.

Another SEAL slogan is:

Stay in your three-foot world.

Don't live too far in the future. Don't dwell too much on the past. Focus on what is immediately before you.

I teach my clients a similar principle.

I tell them to imagine they have brittle diabetes and need an insulin shot every three hours. Instead of insulin, however, they are taking a “shot of joy.”

Every three hours, they should intentionally do, think about, or engage in something that brings them happiness.

They cannot skip a dose.

This simple practice can dramatically reduce anxiety, depression, and worry. It can even help interrupt a panic attack.

Everything Is Going to Be Okay

When I was nineteen years old and preparing to leave on a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, my mother handed me a small piece of needlepoint artwork.

It contained five letters:

EGBOK

They stood for:

Everything Is Going to Be Okay.

During moments of homesickness or discouragement, I would pull it from my bedside table and read those words.

Almost immediately, I felt calmer.

Today, when people begin major life transitions—college, missions, marriage, parenthood, or a new career—I often give similar advice:

Just breathe.

Don't rush to figure everything out.

Life unfolds one lesson at a time.

Many people quit worthwhile pursuits because they demand immediate answers and immediate certainty. When those answers don't come quickly enough, they become discouraged.

The messages behind EGBOK and “just breathe” are the same:

Prepare.

Obey.

Stay present.

And enjoy the journey.

Everything is going to be okay.

Additional Resources

• Elder Erich W. Kopischke, Addressing Mental Health (General Conference, October 2021)

• Elder Gerrit W. Gong, Happy and Forever (General Conference, October 2022)

• Elder Gary B. Sabin, Hallmarks of Happiness (General Conference, October 2023)

• Elder John D. Amos, The Good News Recipe (General Conference, October 2025)